Growing up

 I don't know why but I've always wanted to be loved. Maybe it's because of what I'd seen as a child and the relationships I'd been in over the years.
 The separation of my mom and dad was hard for me. It wasn't a pleasant experience and I don't think it is for any child. Each one of them had a view of the other over the break up. Each parent slagging the other off behind their backs not noticing the children standing next to them.
 Both my sister and I watched as my dad was literally kicked out of the house by my mom. We sat on the stairs crying as they argued over him leaving. At one point she told him if he didn't leave we would and proceeded to ask us if we wanted to move to America.
 As I grew up I had few girlfriends during my school years. It didn't help the fact that I was placed in to an all boys school during  my teens. I was a pretty shy lad as well which didn't help matters. Girls would always class me as a friend. At one point the lads at school were spreading roomers that I was gay. It pissed me off at the time because it wasn't for the lack of trying to get a girlfriend. It was just that I treated them differently to the boys at school. Not looking at them as if they were a piece of flesh. The girls I went out with at the time were not local to the area. My dad had managed to get himself a flat on the opposite side of town. We used to visit him over the weekend and he'd befriended a couple who lived in a block of flats opposite. Phil and Leslie were their names, they were a youngish couple. They had their nieces stay over during the holidays Pauline and Maxine. I went out with Maxine, who was thirteen. I was eleven at the time and most definitely a virgin in all aspects of having any sort of dating. She was my first kiss, it's funny how you remember the name of your firsts.
 We lost contact with them after a few years. It wasn't until I was sixteen my dad told me he'd an affair with Leslie. I don't blame him because it turned out that Phil was abusing her.