Optimistic

People have said that I'm optimistic. I'm not, I wish I was then perhaps this wouldn't be so painful having to wait for other people to make the decisions in order to be with the person you love. Am I a patient person? To an extent yes but again wanting to be with someone throws all that out of the window. In order for me to cope with all this I have to be optimistic or I'd be screaming my lungs out now. To say that I haven't cried during this process would be lying. But any descent man who loved his fiancee, would at some point. Especially when you know you've found someone special, your soul mate. The one you've always wanted to be with since you were a young boy.
 They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But it doesn't it just pines for the person you're missing the person you love. You have to stay optimistic or you end up a depressed mess.