I moved to the U.S five years ago. And during this time I've learned that something is wrong with the country. I come from a country that has issues with gang shootings. Guns are illegal in the U.K unless you are licensed and there are rules to which you can use them. In the U.S. it seems anyone can have a gun. Which has people in fear. Both police and the general public. Over the past few months there have been several killings both without cause and also with vengeance. I find it difficult to see why. First off, in the police shooting case's the shooting of a civilian should be the last resort, Not the first action.
Police are issued with other less servier weapons at their disposal. Police are supposed to lead by example. And I have to say they're not doing to much of a good job.
My wife needed an operation on her stomach. So she had to go in as an out patient. When we had arrived home she needed to get some rest so she went to bed. At around 6pm she had some broth and by 7pm she was being sick. So we headed back to the hospital on the same day.
Now my wife has health insurance and so that not the issue here but when we receive a bill for $15000 for her time at the hospital it makes you wonder why you have insurance?

Who am I?

You left us at the door when we were kids,
Not old enough to know what road to take,
And boy did we make our mistakes,
Pursuing the things that made us break,
Not knowing which way to turn,
Sometimes our fingers would burn,

Not knowing which road to take,
No guidance when it was needed,
Where were you when hearts were broken,
To mend the things we did,
No words, when they needed to be spoken,
Those days are our memories now,

The scars are deep,
I just live day to day now,
My children have grown,
I only hope they know,
They're never alone,
They live with their mother's,
But I have few regrets,

Having to leave my kids behind,
Was the hardest decision I had to make,
And my one true regret,
But I had to find my self,
It's been five years now and I'm still searching,

Still looking for who I am,
Who I should be,
Hopefully one day I'll get there,
One day I'll see,
The person I am,
Who I'm meant to be,
I guess time will tell,
I'll just have to wait and see.

Weeping Angel's

I have recently submitted a tattoo design on create my tattoo.com.
It has a Dr WHO theme under the title weeping Angels. You should check it out and let me know what you think. I'm under the name John1971.

Can You See Me

If you knew,
I was out there on my own,
Feeling naked and alone,
Would you hold me,

I was hungry, I was cold,
Left there by the road,
Would you help me,

The darkness in the halls,
No lights left on the walls,
Could you feel me,

I was left there bleeding,
For the love that I believed in,

Would you,
Catch me if I fall,
Save me from losing it all,
Would you be there,

You left me there in the dark,
Left with a broken heart,
Would you kiss me,

But there was never a place for me,
Try as I might,
I could not be free,
The four walls are close in,
I could not get free again,
Would you believe me,

And the memories are all that remain,

Knew it all along,
Said there's nothing wrong,
Please believe me,

I knew you were wrong,
Turned around,
Then you were gone,
Now you left me.

Copyright  @ 1st May2016 JSBevan.

Sorrow

Listening to the rain fall,
Writing memoirs of broken dreams,
Lost love fallen in time,
Only memories to repeat again,
Tears flow evermore,

For those who've gone before me,
The jagged edge knife,
That pierced the beating heart,
Love bleeds out and hits the ground,
Into the river and in to the sea,
True love never to be found,

Draining the life, 
Constantly hurt, 
Forever lost,
Never to be found,
Nothing but an empty void,
Is left inside of me,

Music plays in the background,
Leaves me nothing but melancholy,
The tears flow for eternity,
Heartbreak and sorrow,
Seem to go hand in hand,

We carry on for tomorrow,
For all the world to see,
In search for that loving hand,
The kindest word,
Someone who understands,
But only pain seems to follow,

May sound absurd,
Will they ever arrive,
To that final destination,
While I sit and wait,
Grand central station,
Time drifts by so slowly it seems,
Though it maybe to late,

Sometimes it's reality,
But mostly it's dreams,
Is this the fate,
That has become me,
Todays young dream,
Tomorrow's broken heart,
Taken the life-force,
Ripped apart,

Past down through generations,
Father to son now on to daughter,
The heartbreak that hurts
A loved one to much,
Never so real,
A pain you can't touch,

Life goes on slowly it seems,
At least that's how it feels,
We long for normality,
Maybe we want it to much.

Copyright 1st May 2016 by jsbevan

The Mockingbird

 Love is no where to be seen,
As we fall in to a dream,
There's a ghost who is sitting there,
Swear, he's been there before,
Hear the mockingbird sing,
Retracing the places he's been, 

Before the moon rise's again,
Darkness grows within his core,
Life's beaten him ten times or more,
His scars they can't be seen,
Is he there or nowhere,
Maybe he's a dream,
But ain't that just like me,

I don't believe in heaven,
And there's nothing down below,
Only darkness is left for me now,
Watch out here I go,

I feel I'm a stranger,
In a room full of people I know,
Is there a sure way,
To be completely free,
Just like that mockingbird,
Wish that could be me,

Live a life full of danger,
Walking down a street,
A world full of strangers,
No one now's me now,
Is this what life is,
Can someone tell me so,

Heading to a place,
Where my life will be free,
Years go by so quickly,
No longer recognise,
The stranger looking at me.

We Don't Care

Broken,
Beaten,
More each day,
Slaving away for a pittance of pay,
Barely make ends meet,

Driving the workforce in to the ground,
And nobody's expected to make a sound,
Employees scream at the top of their lungs,
But it falls on deaf ears,
There's something wrong,

Middle class workers beneath poverty line,
But if you're above hourly rate everything's fine,
Open your eyes and see the line,
Moving further away each time,

"Stay away from unions," they say,
Store Managers push on orientation day,
Directors and Managers receive their quarterly bonus,
While the ants of the community receive little,
But own us,

Buy your own uniform,
It's a dress code we call it,
So we don't cut that extra profit,
Minimum wage we don't care,
Associates blah! ten to a dozen,
with spare,

And you think we care?



Copyright © 2014 John Bevan

The Parasite

They Came

Darkness falls across the sky,
Beams of light hit the earth,
No one knows why,
They came with wrath,
and birth,

Millions of miles they travelled,
and landed here on earth,
Living in the woodlands,
feeding on the wildlife,
They scavenged,
as they gave birth,

The screams were heard,
from across the seas,
As they devoured the innocent,
and brought us to our knees,
injecting venom,
spreading disease,

They quickly spread,
throughout the world,
Devouring the souls,
now living dead,
As we fight for survival,
with water and bread,
while those infected,
are eating flesh,
of those not dead,

The only thing,
that wasn't infected,
The venomous creatures,
had not injected,
devoured,
poisoned,
digested themselves,
This is a day,
from living hell.

They Came Part2

Scientists and visionaries,
search for mercenaries,
across the desert plains,
Searching for days,
through the heat,
and the haze,
They finally reach,
a fortified cave,
none would enter,
but the brave,

For they knew,
if they did nothing,
then all would die to,
Not just the human race,
but the planet,
would fall from grace,
These creatures that came,
from the sky,
to inject their disease,
of self destruction,
starvation,
a thirst,
The blood ,
the flesh,
they hear your pulse,
Living or dead,
nothing was safe,
The underground tunnels,
where the rats once roamed,
all that was left,
now skull and bones,

To create a cure for the sick,
from the venomous itch,
as the poison,
ran through their veins,
Running around,
for the food they'd found,
scavenging,
over dead remains,
eating with a thirst,
but this was something worse,
one bite,
one scratch,
one kiss from the infected,
would take it's toll,
as if you were injected,

These creatures,
these parasites,
Stayed out of the way,
during the day,
and only came out at night,
When there was no light,
and you were in bed sleeping,
for they knew,
there was easier prey,
during the night,
not day,
Less resistance,
to the sting,
the twitch,
of the venomous itch,
As they injected time and again.

They Came Part3

It's week four,
and it's all out war,
The army had desperately,
tried to even the score,
Shooting them down,
til they hit the floor,
but there were to many,
to many to attack,
They fell down,
but came back,
Bombs, explosions,
the mushroom cloud,
Nothing would stop them,
as they swarmed like bees,
Like locusts through a field,
devouring with ease,

The army had deserted,
left for the hills,
leaving the people behind,
for the creatures to kill,
No one could save them,
and no one will,
At least not until,
the scientists figure it out,
A cure for the venom,
for the spread of disease,
Typhoid,
Cholera,
The plague had begun,
contaminated water,
ran with blood,
from the Valley springs,
to the empty hood,

Few were untouched now,
and food was short,
Water was collected in buckets,
from the rain they'd caught,
Living in colonies,
up in the hills,
Or across the desert plains,
Some fell to their knees,
for one last prayer,
In the hope that someone,
is listening up there,
Others would gather wood,
stones to build,
using every man,
woman,
child who could,

They didn't know,
how long they'd have to holdout,
for someone to come,
To save them from the nightmare,
that had begun,
Before they die beneath the sun,
or the creature would come,
The elderly were tired and weary,
and the children would cry,
as their mothers would say,
" Come here baby",
holding the children,
tight in their arms,
praying for protection,
safe from harm,

An eerie silence,
fell across the land that night,
The moon was up,
and no cloud in sight,
volunteers would take it in turns,
to patrol the barricades,
Those who were strong,
those who were brave,
and the fires were lit,
in the desert caves,
While some dug,
the shallow graves,
To bury the ones,
who were to stupid or brave.

The Break Through (They Came Part4)

Eight weeks have past,
and the colonies wonder,
How much longer,
could this last,
Food was running short,
and rumours were rife,

The scientists had captured,
one of the humans infected,
by the parasite,
And they'd carried out tests,
dissecting with a knife,
To save the human race,
life,

The sun is out,
and it's beating down,
Waters drying out,
as they were hit by a drought,
Tempers were running high,
No one knew what was going on,
beyond the barricade,
What had happened,
to the creatures,
that came to invade,

The mercenaries had left,
the safety of the compound,
In search for medicines,
food,
water,
or people still living,
trying to escape,
from the creatures,

As the mercenaries,
hit the town,
something quite odd,
there was no noise,
no sound,
As they took a look around,

Only skeletons where left,
on the ground,
No sign of life at all,
did the creatures,
die,
and fall,
Or had they moved on,
to another site,
To begin another fight,
Injecting the eggs and venom,
of the parasite.



Copyright © 2013 John Bevan

The Day Poetry Died (Educated Arrogance)

Fallen by the masters,

Dissected by the Educated arrogance,

Poetry was Destroyed,

Desecrated at a glance,

The dreams in ones mind,

written down line by line,

For people to relate,

Believe,

See,

The well read,

Readers,

Educated arrogance,

Writing what we believe and feel,

within the minds sight,

The Pain,

Anger,

Rage,

Visions,

All seems real,

To create new worlds,

And make their own decisions,

A means,

A way to heal,

The Rhyme,

Beat,

Pace,

Something you can feel,

The Etiquette and Grace,

What's being said,

means more,

Like a slap across the face,

It hits you,

What is said,

Means more to me,

than the form,

I don't care,

Whether you understand it or not,

It's how It feels,

That makes it real,

Not if it's similar to before,

This is my vision,

I write down the things that I see,

Hear,

Listen,

These are my Visions,

How I feel,

How you read this,

is up to you,

We all have our methods,

points of view,

How you dissect,

with an incision,

Scalpel in hand like I'm sick,

Well I am sick,

Sick of the Educated arrogance,

You need to think deeper,

Not just at a glance,

There's more to this message,

Given the chance,

Thinking they know more than you,

They haven't a clue,

A way to release,

To be free,

This was the day poetry died,

for you and me,

When Educated arrogance,

was set free. 

Copyright © 2013 John Bevan

Welcome to a new age!! (Inspired by Imagine Dragons)

I'm breathing in,
I'm breathing out,
No one hears me,
Now they hear no sound,
I fall to my knees,
and my fists hit the ground,
As the nightmare begins,
With the blazing sun,

Nothings left,
just dust and bones,
The skeletons of empty homes,
The water boils,
releasing sulfur gas,

No one know's,
as they sit in their chair,
The gusts of winds,
carrying poison in the air,
Blistered skin,
As the gas is taken in,

The blazing sun,
shining down,
vegetation is drying up,
As the animals hit the ground,
Dehydration and starvation,
take their toll,
waters gone,

We all go underground,
To try and find,
what can't be found,
The dangerous dreams,
give nightmare screams,
The apocalypse,

These derelict homes,
are all that are left,
as I roam,
Through this desert of poisoned dust,
on my own,
Welcome to a new age!!


Copyright © 2013 John Bevan

Damage

It's 10 in the morning,

when you called,

The girl in bed,

Picked the call up,

I know,

I could have lied,

but the damage was done,

When I look back,

at the heartache I'd caused,

I wished I'd said no,

to the temptation,

And the pain,

I put you through,

The girl that I cheated with,

she wasn't worth it,

A one night stand,

someone you knew,

She led me by the hand,

to the bedroom,

I should have turned around,

but lust took control,

It's a decision I ain't proud of,

If I could turn the clock back,

I would have,

The heartache I caused,

I ain't proud of,

I know I broke your heart,

I should have known from the start,

The temptation & lust,

I could not resist,

I should have known,

it would destroy us,

Now those tables have turned,

my fingers are burned,

I know how you felt,

To be hurt,

Crushed,

I never thought,

I would do this to us,

If I could turn back the clock,

I would in a heartbeat,

Repair the damage I caused,

I'd kneel at your feet,

That one night of lust,

Turned love in to dust.

Copyright © 2013 John Bevan

The pain in my head,
As you push, 
pull and taunt again,
Wishing I'm dead,
as you punch, 
Kick and I bleed again,

The school bell rings,
It's time and I'm leaving,
At home,
I hear the screams,
Black and blue,
Reds on the floor again,

Another sleepless night,
the nightmare has begun again,
I feel so alone,
as people point and laugh again,
Hurting inside,
from feeling so alone again,

I'm dying inside,
from the names they call,
The punches they throw,
Bleeding inside,
Leave me alone 'cause I'm cryin'.
I'm losing my mind.



Copyright © 2013 John Bevan

To Be Remembered

I've been away for so long,
And now it seems to late,
As one door opens, 
Then someone shuts a gate,

I don't ask for much,
Just a way to succeed,
But it seems,
Every corner I turn,
I'm expected to bleed,

Sacrificing a dream,
for someone else's pleasure,
Queen once said,
"Who wants to live forever,"

Love must die,
And we all do to,
If only patience,
Would give us a clue,
And the sorrow,
That's led me here to you,

The mind play's it's tricks,
Spins you around,
The splitting headache,
As you hit the ground,
Tears are streaming,
As it begins again,
And again,

Sadness,
Feeling broken and alone,
Darkness,
A sense that no one has known,
Each individual,
Ceases to exist,
No darker moment,
As the one like this,

Perhaps one day,
They'll believe in you,
Giving your soul,
do they have a clue,
Do they know that I feel the same,
That perhaps one day,
They'll remember your name. 


Copyright © 2013 John Bevan

Ignorance Is Missed

The room is full,

but it's just me here,

There's things I say,

but nobody hears,

Nobody cares,

Nobody listens,

Only what they say,

is meant,

They try to deny,

but it's evident, 

The walls echo,

the words I've said,

Why do they ignore me,

is it my time to see,

What they truly are,

and who I should be,

To the people I've spoken,

with their blank expression,

The volume is raised, 

but there's nobody home,

Sometime it feels like I'm all alone,

I constantly,

Bang,

Smash,

Crash my head,

The tears, the blood,

the words that are shed,

Nobody listens now,

perhaps when I'm dead,

When nobody's here,

just an empty shell,

That's when I can say,

you can all fuck off,

straight to hell,

Take a good whiff,

of this rotting shell,

You're to late now Oh! Well.

Copyright © 2013 John Bevan

Pain

The pain in my head,
As you push, 
pull and taunt again,
Wishing I'm dead,
as you punch, 
Kick and I bleed again,

The school bell rings,
It's time and I'm leaving,
At home,
I hear the screams,
Black and blue,
Reds on the floor again,

Another sleepless night,
the nightmare has begun again,
I feel so alone,
as people point and laugh again,
Hurting inside,
from feeling so alone again,

I'm dying inside,
from the names they call,
The punches they throw,
Bleeding inside,
Leave me alone 'cause I'm cryin'.
I'm losing my mind.


Copyright © 2012 John Bevan

Check my other blog page for Art and Jewelry - http://standemann2.blogspot.com/

Dark Corners

The pain and hurt,
He feels inside,
If you look close enough,
You will see it,

 in his eyes,

The torment of losing,
over and over again,
A cruelty that's known to him,
Of who he is,
and who he should be,
Just to be close again,

Not one to take control,
Never to say,
but gives his heart,

whole,

Never believed in anything,
Never had the opportunity,
Left alone to pour out his soul,
He could be,

you or me,
The teardrops fall,
As he writes and draws,

A painting of a lonely soul,
Left on his own,
Wandering,
Thinking,
What might have been,
Walks through the darkness,
No one's there,

Just his dreams,

A horse in the field,
roaming alone,
With no one to shield,
from the pouring rain,
To call his own,
continuously beating,
Again and again,

Sadness and pain,
Returns yat again,
Who,
Why,
Does he feel this way,
No one knows,
No one can,
He is the child,
Who became a man.






Copyright © 2012 John Bevan